I LOVE this
I’M GOING TO RUN TO CVS AND GRAB SOME TRASH BAGS. WE’RE ALMOST OUT. YOU NEED ANYTHING? SOME CIGARETTES?
WHAT ABOUT Q-TIPS? THEY’RE HAVING A SALE ON Q-TIPS.
TUPAC FUCKING SHAKUR JUST BOUGHT A CAN OF ARIZONA ICED TEA AT WALGREEN’S AND THEN VANISHED IN A FLASH OF LIGHT! I’M NOT ON DRUGS! I SWEAR I SAW IT!
CALM DOWN, TED. HE’S BEEN AROUND ALL WEEK. I WATCHED HIM PLAY BASKETBALL IN THE PARK FOR LIKE, TWO HOURS ON WEDNESDAY.
HELLO, AND WELCOME. IT’S GOOD TO SEE SO MANY SMILING FACES IN THE PEWS TODAY. NOW, IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE GET BACK TO GOOD OLD FASHIONED CHRISTIAN VALUES IN THIS COUNTRY, AND I THINK THE BEST WAY WE CAN DO THAT IS TO FOCUS ON THE PARTS OF THE BIBLE THAT OCCUR BEFORE CHRIST. THAT’S WHY WE’RE CHRISTIANS. BECAUSE CHRIST ISN’T IMPORTANT. WE NEED TO FOCUS ON THE PRIMITIVE, SUPERSTITIOUS, DEPLORABLE PARTS OF THE OLD TESTAMENT THAT ALLOW US TO BE AS FAR REMOVED FROM THE NAMESAKE OF OUR CHOSEN RELIGION AS POSSIBLE SO THAT WE DON’T HAVE TO DO THINGS LIKE EXPLAIN GAY PEOPLE OR ECONOMIC DISPARITY TO OUR KIDS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY SHITTING ON THE POOR AND REDUCING WOMEN AND BLACKS TO THE LEVEL OF PROPERTY, STRIPPED OF THEIR HARD-WON RIGHTS AND FREEDOMS.
WHAT WE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE THE TEACHINGS AND WISDOM OF THE NEW TESTAMENT, WHICH IS THE BOOK OUR RELIGION DRAWS ITS NAME FROM. THAT WOULD JUST BE SILLY, AND WE’D HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO … EVERYONE, BASICALLY, FOR BEING ENORMOUS, UNREPENTANT ASSHOLES WHO PLACE PERSONAL PROFIT AND COMFORT OVER THE RIGHTS AND NEEDS OF THE MANY.
I CAN SEE A LOT OF YOU HERE TODAY ARE GOING TO START ASKING THE SAME KIND OF QUESTIONS THAT GOT JESUS IN SO MUCH TROUBLE, AND I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU: WHAT ARE YOU, SOCIALISTS? STOP ROCKING THE BOAT. IF YOU HAVE A CONSCIENCE THEN THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON. AMEN.
“The Dog that forgot he Ate his own Bone”
POASTED AND ROASTED EARLY AND BURLY
Color Prints of yr Favorite comics! Including this one.BYE!!
MURPHY! WINSTON! YOU TWO ON A DATE OR A CONTRACT JOB? HELP ALLEN CUT THE CORNERS AND FIND THE HEXHEADS! DANIELS! START SPOOLING THE MAIN LENGTH! 32 FEET AT 3 INCHES! AND BUTTON YOUR SHIRT! THIS AIN’T CHIPPENDALE’S! RANDALL! GET THOSE MOUNTS IN PLACE BEFORE I DOT YOUR EYE FOR YOU! WE GOT TO BE UP IN EVANSTON BY 11:30, LADIES! LET’S STEP LIVELY!
… A COUPLE OF ‘EM COULD BE FASTER, ONE OR TWO AIN’T SO PRETTY TO LOOK AT, AND THE YOUNG ONES LISTEN TO SOME TRULY GOD AWFUL MUSIC, BUT THIS IS -HANDS DOWN- THE BEST DAMNED GUTTER CREW IN THE STATE.
